A revision of a piece
I submitted yesterday. Fastest revision ever
Yesterday was a product of trying to churn something out for NaPoWriMo; after you give up and realize there's no way you can possibly do a poem a day, the process becomes much easier and the writing just flows the way you need it to. This is far from perfect, but it's much closer to what I want it to be in the future. This is a good start
I've been struggling with this theme for quite a while - since about August in fact - and it's nice to finally see it beginning to work on paper, even though it still doesn't fit the initial prompt from way back when.
Fact: one in five ballet dancers are afflicted with anorexia.
TWR critique: [link]
Questions: Stanzas and line breaks - too arbitrary, or is the emphasis in the right place?
Is it too choppy, or is the flow alright? (This could concern either the story, or the writing itself - I'm interested in both.)