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I know the thumping of blood in my fingers,
the twinge in my back,
the tension behind my calves far too well.
The bristle of cold is too much
but the silence without the fan is suffocating.
My blankets are too heavy,
settled over my torso like the rock in my chest
but I can’t sleep without the weight.

This awareness is a manifestation of my longing;
for your hands in my hair,
your warmth at my spine,
your shoes on my floor.
This is what I feel when I can’t feel you –
palpitations, vibrations,
fixations that drive me to insomnia.

Only the trains are any comfort,
plowing away into the night
screaming here I am; there I go
like world-weary tramps moving just to be moving.

Like you, working just to be working,
burning midnight oil and paper
when you could be breathing fire down my neck.
*nightshade-keyblade left a comment on Contact likening my tactile memories to a sort of superpower. It is in some ways, but it keeps me up at night. Thus, this was born.
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:iconjallarial:
Jallarial Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This conveys feelings effectively. I can feel the longing and the disappointment.
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much :aww:
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:iconliving-in-his-head:
living-in-his-head Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014
This is beautiful.  It reminds me of nights I spend without my significant other. We are annoying sleepers (she listens to metal and I snore in her ear), but we both admit to missing those traits when we aren't sleeping together.
I love how you beautifully capture all of the intangible in takings of  the senses and write them so visibly and concrete. <3
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm ridiculously aware at night. Like, I know a lot of people are, but I mean to truly ridiculous levels. I once heard a moth land on my wall - it wasn't even actually hearing; I just somehow knew that it had landed on my wall about a foot and a half above my bed. Sure enough, there it was when I turned on my lamp.

So yeah, it makes for great writing, but not great sleeping :XD:
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:iconliving-in-his-head:
living-in-his-head Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2014
I can't begin to number the times I've been close to FINALLY falling asleep and then forced to get up to write,  because I'm afraid I'll forget something.   LOL
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:iconsweetsandcharades:
SweetsAndCharades Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013
Wonderful :)
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:icon369dreamergirl:
369dreamergirl Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Student Writer
ah, all of this is amazing :heart: 
i honestly can't really pick apart one line that i love, all of it is relevant
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :heart:
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:iconmina12310:
mina12310 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2013  Student General Artist
"My blankets are too heavy,
settled over my torso like the rock in my chest
but I can’t sleep without the weight." so true :)
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks :D
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:iconanapests-and-ink:
anapests-and-ink Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"screaming here I am; there I go"--yes.  That is exactly the sound of trains at night--and the perfect image to encapsulate the loneliness and longing in this poem.
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :D I really like the trains - I've tried to write about them before, but this is the first time I think I got there.
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:iconquiestinliteris:
QuiEstInLiteris Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Professional Writer
;; Awwwww.
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
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:iconbeyondjen:
BeyondJen Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Forgive me for the sub-par comment I'm about to make. I'm gonna blame it on being after 1am.

This entire piece up to and including the trains could have been pulled from my subconscious, although the trains in the distance seem to cause me more anxiety and eagerness than comfort. I think you pegged the tactile feelings and emotions perfectly.

Really nicely done. :heart:
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:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :heart: I used to find the trains way too loud, but I like them now. Most of the time I don't even notice them.
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