Personal

A new skin to say hello to Spring

Fantastic weather lately in my part of the world; sixty, seventy degrees, and low humidity. Can't ask for more than that.


Fan-tas-tic.

I've been rather inactive around here lately, though I wouldn't consider myself on hiatus. Haven't written much in a while, but I do have a few things trying to work their way out of me. Just been kinda disinterested lately.

My days are largely spent with job applications or getting outside. The weather really is incredible right now, so I've been taking advantage. Even bought myself a new dress for spring We were all out at Pinnacle Mountain last weekend for Russ' fifth birthday - that one was actually his third party. There was one on his actual birthday, a surprise party my family threw on Easter, and then this one that was from his mom. I don't even know how many toy trains he has now.


It's a lot.

Meanwhile, I've been talking to Doc a hella lot these last few weeks. More nights than not really. I think the semester is kinda stressing him out, so he calls me to wind down. He told me recently that he feels like he only has about a year left in him before retiring. He talks about his day, I share my most recent adventures. Sometimes we don't even talk; just companionable silence. I appreciate that. It's hard to find someone you can just be quiet with; too many people are uncomfortable with silence.

He invited me to this experimental music thing, which I might have liked if I'd been able to hear what they guy was saying, and I gave him a copy of The Volume in the Ground in return. Neither of us is a fan of hip hop, but that album really is interesting. I figured he would either love it or wouldn't be able to stomach the hip hop; I was pleased to hear he enjoyed it. But he likes weird things

I also managed to get some really wonderful photos yesterday:





The river was pleasantly cold - took a moment to get used to it, but I spent about twenty, thirty minutes wading. Probably going to go again later this week, assuming the weather holds up.

Features!

Almost-contrivedI was an almost-firecracker
this morning
of contradictive thought
corrected in the honesty of
the antenna's signal
fizzling and re-firing
in the face of
simpler thoughts
less contrived The Fourth Wishi.
She's an ocean-eyed dreamer who could fit the skies of a thousand worlds into her mayfly heart. She's got an angel face and a nasty little smile, and she knows all the secrets in her world. All she wants is to carry on dreaming, so she wishes for dragonfly wings and bottled summer nights – and sleep that doesn't have to end. That insidious smile lingers, and she won't surrender her dreams even when her life support stumbles and dies.
ii.
He's a romantic with an acoustic soul and steel string scars on his fingertips. He's saving his lovesongs for a perfect girl with summer rolling off her skin and winter in her eyes, and he's never stopped believing that she's out there somewhere. He wishes for her to be everything he's waited for, for her to find him, and for her to be happy. It's a pity he forgets to ask for her to love him back.
iii.
She's a revolutionary with a landmine heart and a switchblade tongue. There's dirt and sand under her fingernails and wind in her hair, and she DeerYou came back in the fall
and I told you you could go —
already almost gone
like the deer I came upon one day,
slow breathing beside me
before it leaped. You stayed
and stayed and now the air
is crisp with lack of you.
<da:thumb id="482871461"/> PaintI suppose it freaked you out to flick on the lights in our bedroom and see red splashed all over the walls, staining the carpet, streaked across my face like someone tried to wipe it off. Perhaps I should have seen your terror coming from my position lying on the floor, my open eyes contemplating what the splatters had done to the ceiling. Perhaps I should have known that where I saw sunrises you would see blood.
I was staring at the ceiling, zoned out while considering if a touch of orange would make a difference to the particular patch of ceiling I was examining, when you walked in and flipped on the light, blinding me. And then you SCREAMED.
I jumped up, startled. My movement freaked you out even more, still stunned by the shock.
“What, what?” I asked, running to you. I was worried about you. But as I moved towards you, you backed away, and as our eyes met I realized everything might not be how I had been considering it. I looked around at the walls, the carpet, my refle weighted.divide me down to bones and dust,
unlace these supposed sentiments,
i am two fever eyes, a rabbit heart,
the ability to run. break yourself on
my rocks.
i have love affairs with
concrete megaliths, gothic churches,
buildings stood for so long that they
have forgotten what falling apart
feels like. i am corseted by love.
you bend my silhouette into curved romantic
lies, i cannot love you with these hollow
bones, i am all crumble, i am all carved
i have forgotten what falling feels like,
these walls are mortar, my skin steel, i am
two achilles heels, an empty birdcage,
the inability to love. break yourself on
my wrists,
i won’t feel anything but
weight.